Not just "Him"

Mary of Magdala and her role in Jesus' journey

What if Mary held a space that Jesus could not hold by himself?

What if his awakening did not happen in isolation, but in the presence of a woman who could meet it?

Not beneath it.

Not in service to it.

But as part of it.

Everything in me was trained to reject that.

And to conform to, “He alone is the one.”

She is the follower.

The redeemed one.

The one who was changed by him.

But what if that’s not the whole story?

What if the feminine was edited out of the field where awakening actually happens?

Because I don’t see awakening happening in isolation.

I see it in relationship.

I see it in the presence of someone who can hold what is emerging without collapsing it, without controlling it, without needing it to be smaller.

I see it in the body that can stay.

That can receive.

That can bear the intensity of what is coming through.

The sacred feminine is not decorative.

It is not supportive in the way we’ve been taught to understand support.

It is structural.

It is the field itself.

So what if,

Jesus did not “arrive” alone.

What if something in Mary of Magdala met him there?

What if she held a space that allowed something to stabilize, to root,

to become livable in a human life?

And what if that possibility had to be erased?

Because a woman who participates in awakening...not as witness or student, but as equal, undoes the hierarchy the entire system rests on.

I’m not interested in replacing one figure with another, nor do I believe for a second that Mary would want that.

I’m interested in seeing what has been missing.

Because I can feel it in my own life, how presence changes what is possible.

How something in me comes alive when it is met, attuned to, fully allowed, rather than managed.

How awakening is not something I do alone.

So no...

I don’t think this is sacrilegious… maybe more like a grenade landing on an unquestioned belief, but not sacrilegious.

I think it’s what becomes visible when we stop inheriting the story, stop looking to the so called ‘authorities’ and start trusting ourselves to know from our own direct looking.